Medication, Medication.
I am not medicated.
I am not medicated in the sense that so many may think. I do not walk around in a drugged stupor. I do not feel tired, sleepy or "dopey". I can talk to people without them knowing I am taking five medications. That is right I take five medications
and just recently I have never been so thankful for my cocktail of five.
Recently I have experienced enormous losses in my life. Two family deaths in two weeks time. As people we all process losses differently. As mothers, it seems we also do on behalf of our children.
Historically speaking, events weighing less than these have triggered mania and then deep depression. For the first time in a long time I was able to process tragedy with out triggering perpetual crisis in my life.
If it were not for my medications I may not have made it through these most recent losses. I seemed to have stopped the perpetual crisis.
Technically, if I have to I will say it, I am medicated.
Thank God.
People are mistaken to think these medications would be the culprit of me feeling one tiny bit less. My emotions a raw with sadness, only those who have experienced this kind of loss know the emptiness.
tags
[Bipolar Disorder]
[Bipolar Medication]
I am not medicated in the sense that so many may think. I do not walk around in a drugged stupor. I do not feel tired, sleepy or "dopey". I can talk to people without them knowing I am taking five medications. That is right I take five medications
and just recently I have never been so thankful for my cocktail of five.
Recently I have experienced enormous losses in my life. Two family deaths in two weeks time. As people we all process losses differently. As mothers, it seems we also do on behalf of our children.
Historically speaking, events weighing less than these have triggered mania and then deep depression. For the first time in a long time I was able to process tragedy with out triggering perpetual crisis in my life.
If it were not for my medications I may not have made it through these most recent losses. I seemed to have stopped the perpetual crisis.
Technically, if I have to I will say it, I am medicated.
Thank God.
People are mistaken to think these medications would be the culprit of me feeling one tiny bit less. My emotions a raw with sadness, only those who have experienced this kind of loss know the emptiness.
tags
[Bipolar Disorder]
[Bipolar Medication]
posted by Mom, Interrupted at 3:17 PM
11 Comments:
I'm sorry about your losses, and glad you feel better with medications. I think it's better to get help than trying to do it all by yourself.
i know what you mean. i don't feel drugged either. of course i only take three medications, two of which i don't have to take consistently. but if i were in the middle of some sort of crisis, yeah, i'd probably need all three. strange how that works. if people want to call that a crutch, well, they can kiss it.
you have to get through each and every day however you see fit. you can't let other people define what is right or wrong for you.
stepping off my soapbox now, but i hope you're able to get through these tragedies without a scratch. best wishes. :)
maha
I am sorry for your losses...Right now for me, the Lithium makes me very, very tired and groggy when I get up in the morning. It does go away as the day goes on and suppose to go away all together within time, though.
I don't know what I would do if I lost a very close loved one - RE: mother and father...I cannot fathem it right now.
I am one to live in the past a lot...reminicse(Sp) and dwell about my childhood and highschool years (ALL GOOD!) and then to lose my parents...that is going to put me over the edge...Lithium or NOT!
Glad that you are holding on and staying above water :)
If you don't mind me asking, what five medications are you taking? I didn't know it was possible to be on that many. And congrats on being effective and not feeling medicated. I know that takes great personal courage.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I'm on 3 psych meds. But other meds too for other ailments.
gabriela-
Thank you, and I agree with you.
maha-
It is so great to hear such similar thoughts as mine. Keep your soap box!
dream writer-
your memories are a gift, this is what I must treasure now.
pjbrubak-
oh it is not that uncommon;
topamax, tegretol, zyprexa, seroquel, and geodone.
(As my psychologist says, 'this is how we know there is a diagnosis and the treatment is working.. I am level and happy on all of these...when a "normal" person might be dead as a door on my meds. Just as I would be on a bunch of morphine. Just an interesting side note.)
Maggs-
Thank you. I imagine combating other illness's with this is not easy.
Regarding my medications,
I don't know why I said zyprexa...I mean Klonopin.
I have been on zyprexa...I have been on a great deal of the front line, first used, medications. They did not work for me. It took many years for a doctor to come up with this working combo of mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics/psychotropics.
I'm glad you've found the right cocktail for yourself & sorry for your losses. I think being over-medicated can help us to not deal with stuff, but later, it will all just seem like a fog.
There are years I can look back at & it's all a fog, but now, I'm doing the same as you. I'm taking the minimal I can to cope.
I hope things go smoothly for you & that your moods are smooth as well.
sorry for your losses. When I first went on meds it was the first time in my life I feel any desire to be physically affectionate with ppl and my heart burst with love for humanity, for like two days, then side effects kicked it and after many years on meds, i went off them. I was convinced that meds were evil and no good for anyone. Last year i tried seroquel it worked amazingly, but i decided not be on meds. Now i think that whatever works for someone is fine as long as they are making that choice for themselves and that they are feeling comfortable with it. That's all that matters is to find what gives us a sense of who we are whatever form that takes
You said it all, you hit the nail on the head, couldn't get it any more right, no way.
I SOOOOOOOO know what you mean when you say you're not dopey. my mother says I'm doped all the time and we get into HUGE arguments... it SUCKS.
What are the 5? lemme guess, 1 Anti-Depressant, 2 mood stabilizers, 1 benzo and one anti-psychotic????
Thanks for that post, nice to know we're not alone..
I'm on four medications right now, but can have deep emotions, yet am able to cope. I'm going through a bit of depression now and am often hypomanic - enough emotions to know I'm real. The true me is not masked, yet I cope most of the time.
I too say "Thank God for my being medicated."
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