Deep Emotion
Emotions to their furthest degree
I do not think those words properly describe the severity of the situation, with Bipolar symptoms that is.
Experiencing such deep sadness that slides my soul into the darkest places, places no one should go.
Then that same soul being launched into the stars above the world so happy I can barely see anyone else.
Only to fall into a rage that terrifies me right through my bones, which sends
my spirit right down to the deepest darkest place, where my soul will soon be joining it again.
I do not think words will ever properly describe our emotions.
Do you feel your symptoms take your emotions to another degree?
tags
[Bipolar Disorder]
[Bipolar Symptoms]
I do not think those words properly describe the severity of the situation, with Bipolar symptoms that is.
Experiencing such deep sadness that slides my soul into the darkest places, places no one should go.
Then that same soul being launched into the stars above the world so happy I can barely see anyone else.
Only to fall into a rage that terrifies me right through my bones, which sends
my spirit right down to the deepest darkest place, where my soul will soon be joining it again.
I do not think words will ever properly describe our emotions.
Do you feel your symptoms take your emotions to another degree?
tags
[Bipolar Disorder]
[Bipolar Symptoms]
posted by Mom, Interrupted at 2:07 PM
15 Comments:
Oh, gosh yes! My symptoms totally takes my emotions (of all kinds) to a different degree. They are very different, too.
It just depends. If I am manic, my emotions are full of rage, irritability, and a sense of overwhelming.
If I am depressed, I can cry out of nowhere for no apparent reason, I am emotional, weepy, and overly sensitive.
If I am Hypomanic, my emotions are fun loving, I have energy and I cannot get enough. I could also be hypersexual and flirtatious.
If I am in a Mixed State, well, I feel like I am in a blender or a food processor...So many mixed emotions in as little as five minutes. Happy, sad, laughing, crying, Hypersexual all wrapped into one!
WOW! For the first time I just explained myself so clearly! I am going to have to copy and paste this post and put it in my blog to file it! :)
I hope you are feeling better soon. Remember, what goes up must come down and vice versa!
Dream Writer-
Oh, I am fine thank you. (Just grieving still)
I am just speculating about the description so often used for Bipolar Disorder. I am glad you sorted your thoughts out!
Your description is very poetic. It describes it well. One of the feelings I'm familiar with, though I don't know if it has anything to do with being bipolar, is a sense of abandonment. I'd be interested to know if other bipolars experience that. Abandonment is an icy, lonely feeling to have. Though I have a deep faith, I find little in my Bible to comfort me.
you hit the nail on the head again...Sometimes I compare mania to cocaine but it jst doesnt quite cut it, though it's a good comparison....
But no way, instead of trying to find words I write stories.. It's the best I can do to express myself...
There are emotions, then there are "emotions". When I'm happy, sad or angry I'm fine, but when its a bipolar happy, sad or angry its a different story. The emotions cut deeply. I can no longer just feel the emotion and process. I become of the emotion. The boundaries of feelings and being become very hazy. I try to feel, process and release, but when the emotions are the bipolar ones they are so inseperable from my sense of being that ending my life becomes the only way my mind can understand releasing them. Knowing adn understanding that gives me the patience to wait it out most of the time. Till the wave passes. Mixed episodes suck the most, hypomania rocks.
YES YES YES!
The thing that always amazes me is that we only really get a sense of the extreme once it has passed.
And then it is at that point that I get further upset at my inability to control myself. Medicated and still subject to roaring rages at minimal provocation. Feeling broken afterward, irreparable.
Yes, you've described it well.
What Marja said about abandonment, that's 1 of my biggest issues, too. With that comes distrust & paranoia, for me at least.
As for my symptoms & emotions, I don't know how to separate the 2. I suppose it would be safe to say, being overly sensitive or distrusting could cause me to be depressed.
Someone wrote this & it kind of explains things for me:
"The problem is not that we are mentally ill; The problem is that we experience 150% of what 'normal' people do and we are frustrated that we have not yet learned how to handle it"
What Jane quoted makes a lot of sense to me "...we experience 150% of what 'normal' people do..." That is SO true for me. In fact, I feel that I'm a child in many ways. When a close friend goes on an extended holiday, I feel SO lost without her - abandoned. It's not normal. It's painful. I love too deeply. I hurt too deeply.
I just found your blog and thanks. I'm glad to have found you. I can very much relate.
Marja-
This is one reason why I post, to find out what other Bipolar individuals are experiencing...it is so interesting.
Sara-
Writing seems like the only way to truly express our emotions at times.
Bam-
I understand exactly what you wrote.
Maggs- :)
BP Hockey Chick-
Hind sight does seem to be a bit clearer.
Jane-
We are learning!!
Jennifer-
Thank you, welcome ;)
This blog is very helpful to me. I've been experiencing a lot of emotions lately, too. My dad was bipolar, and I've been on Zoloft now for 7 years. I'm very creative, and when I'm writing for tv, I'm fine. But motherhood has taken me to a different place of flip flopping emotions that are very difficult at times. And dark places. And other times, I'm fine. I don't know if it's bi-polar or simply the stress of responsibility, but I'm working w/a doctor to figure it out. I thank you for your openness.
testing
wow i have been bipolar my entire life and was not aware i even worked in psych hospitals. I came to realize it when i was going off on men i would date i felt totally in love with them and if i felt the slightest rejection i rage all over them and of course they would run in the opposite direction and i would be devastated for months
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