Bipolar Grandiosity
Delusions of Grandeur
Bipolar grandiosity symptoms are not always extreme as sex, travel, or money. It is not feeling like I am Jesus, Mary, or Joseph, either. Grandiosity can be how I feel about myself, my ideas, everything I do. Insecurity turns to over-confidence. This confidence can cross over from my feelings about myself physically all the way to how intelligent and bright I am.
In part of being aware of symptoms, I have to stop myself at times and go "Is this really a good idea?" "Would this really be interesting?" "Am I annoying or entertaining people?" In the moment anything and everything are so interesting, but only until the wheel of ideas spins so quickly to the next.
tags
[Bipolar Disorder]
[Bipolar Grandiosity]
Bipolar grandiosity symptoms are not always extreme as sex, travel, or money. It is not feeling like I am Jesus, Mary, or Joseph, either. Grandiosity can be how I feel about myself, my ideas, everything I do. Insecurity turns to over-confidence. This confidence can cross over from my feelings about myself physically all the way to how intelligent and bright I am.
In part of being aware of symptoms, I have to stop myself at times and go "Is this really a good idea?" "Would this really be interesting?" "Am I annoying or entertaining people?" In the moment anything and everything are so interesting, but only until the wheel of ideas spins so quickly to the next.
tags
[Bipolar Disorder]
[Bipolar Grandiosity]
posted by Mom, Interrupted at 10:33 AM
9 Comments:
It's been so long since I've felt like that. As weird as they may seem, I wouldn't mind a little over confidence right now. It's definitely where we get our brilliant ideas from.
I understand your post well. It hit home when I was at a DBSA support group meeting one time. The facilitator suffered from unipolar depression and OCD. I was talking and he finally interrupted me and said something sarcastic about 'bipolars'. I was in the frame of mind you were describing, and it was irritating to others. It pissed me off, but I did understand their irritation.
Gosh I haven't had that Highly Grandiosity Feelin-oh-so-good in about 2 years!
I remember when I felt so good and had high self-confident. Gosh, I think I embarrassed myself too! I was so talkative, stood tall, chest out, stomach in, and was just Soooo very confident... and then I crashed and that was when I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder.
I noticed a drastic change after that highly self confident episode.
I literally stood in line at Walmart and was talking to this complete stranger about "Strawberries" and how good they are in May. I gave her directions to a local farm and ranted and raved about it...all because I bought some Strawberries at Walmart. LOL!!!
Then I proceeded to walk out the door into the parking lot and was swinging my pocket book and held a car door open for a MAN - well he was somewhat old, and I was just so Nice and loving and friendly.
That was fun!
I love how you stop and ask along the way.
I constantly second guess myself. Is this real? Hallucination? Appropriate?
OH MY GOSH! i am constantly aware of the fact that i do that all the time.
i have always done that. all my life everyone said i was a "drama queen"...but, all the guys fell in love with me, fast...in on conversation...
because i did that...the thing...the talking thing....with too much emotion.
and then, i lost it, and went bipolar, and now i use that same enthusiasm about (God only knows)---notebook paper?
it is dreadful. i get stuck and i can't get unstuck from my circular, charismatic talk.
and, at some point, in the middle, i find a family member and i whisper, "do i sound manic?"
i am always afraid i sound crazy now.
Jane-
Yes I know, if I have a long time of zero motivation to write or read or not as much motivation I should say...I miss it.
Jon- Irritability can often be a parasitic symbiotic relationship with this and me.
dream writer- well, I think maybe level is better than Grand...?
Dr. Deb- Thank you, layers upon layers...just one peeled here ;)
Pandora- yes, I know what you mean.
Amateur Dancer- nope, I know exactly what you mean ;)
what's funny about that is that i never noticed i was like that until a few years ago. when i started an online group for gamers. you could tell when i'd go through my highs and lows, when i thought i was superbly witty, but in fact i was just acting like a silly fool.
i met my husband videogaming online and when he joined my forum he noticed there was something off about my behavior. he jokes about it with me when we look back on things.
still, it's tough...really hard to tell the difference between actual grandiose feelings and just being plain old you. sometimes i ask myself if that just isn't a part of who i truly am. am i trying to stamp out a part of me by taking my meds?
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