"Virtual Hallucinations"

WMC-TV - Memphis,TN,USA

You may have read, Memphis police are being trained with computer software to help them better understand the mentally ill. If not, you may check out the above article.

I wonder who designed this software. Do you think you could ever describe with enough accuracy your symptoms, your experience? More over, do you think doctors and software designers could infer your descriptions accurately? Often the topic of media misinterpreting the mentally ill and their symptoms is something I write about. I wonder how the "Virtual Hallucinations" did.
I wanna play...


Tags
[mentally ill]
[virtual hallucinations]

Bipolar Disorder and Finding Clarity in Wellness

I have read many testimonies of individuals who feel some sort of cathartic feeling when first diagnosed, or in early diagnosis. This is generally a sense of, oh there is something wrong, or it is not me after all it is this disorder or it is this disease not my personality.

After dealing with the diagnosis for sometime, it is also not uncommon to find many doubting their diagnosis. This can especially happen in moments of mania or if there have been medication difficulties. When manic, it is easy to feel so on top of that world, to fathom the idea that this is anything other than the real you is simply ridiculous. This can be problematic and a recurring event. Ironically, it can also come with wellness. Often it is in wellness, in feeling so much better that some patients fall off their treatment plans because they think they are better.

Over the years I have experienced all of these feelings to an extent. I am encouraged to be in another stage of the Bipolar Continuum. This one is the realization that I am Bipolar, I always will be, I will always take my meds, because my medication works. I have done the research I need to do I my medication, with the help of professionals. The benefits extremely outweigh the risks in my life.
I also know I must be pro-active in the management of my illness.

I am sure the wellness came before the clarity.
Which means things will not be so clear during difficult times...
proverbial bell jar
this is the tricky part.





Technorati Tags
[Bipolar Disorder]
[Wellness]
[Manic]

Mania, Madness, Heightened Sensitivity and COMBINATORY THINKING

Combinatory thinking!
Pardon me if I do not use these words together as properly as I should.
They seem perfectly appropriate for what I have been tyring to describe in various doctor's chairs for years.

I would say multiple thoughts, but this was never enough. I tried layered thinking, thoughts upon thoughts, ideas, behind ideas, and all at the same time. This was important, all at the same time.

I never had a doctor use this term, combinatory thinking. I recently have been writing about mania and heightened emotions or senses. This promoted me to read some favorite Bipolar writers and reference some of my ever faithful Kay Redfield Jamison books. Interestingly, Jamision's Touched With Fire explains all of these subjects in relation to Bipolar Disorder and to each other.

I have read this book before, I had even highlighted this same section before. After reading it again, I was left feeling more complete and understood. Why had I never had an answer for this layered like an onion thinking before? I guess I wanted a name. Just like when someone told me I was Bipolar, I left feeling like, "See it is not me after all. It is not ME." Jamison so perfectly putting my onion thoughts to words was justification for my symptoms.

Combinatory thinking "Characterized by the merging of percepts, ideas, or images in a incongruous fashion, the ideas formed in this way become "loosely strung together and extravagantly combined and elaborated." *

"Many of the changes in mood, thinking, perception that characterize mildly manic states- restlessness, ebullience, expansiveness, grandiosity, quickened more finely tuned senses, intensity of emotional experiences, diversity of thought, and rapidity of associational process."*

The book is of course filled with reminders that there is in fact an illness, many have had it and do, and many do work past the mania. The working with the mania usually allows the deep depression an open door when the mania is gone. This is described all to well in the works of the many Bipolar poets and writers.

I think that the reason so many writers, artists, musicians worked past the mania in the past is because, what choice did they have? In that answer we may also find why their suicide rate is so high as well.


Mercurial Mind Bipolar Blog: Mania, Working Past the Madness

Mercurial Mind Bipolar Blog: Bipolar Disorder and Interpreting Facial Expressions


*Touched With Fire
Kay Redfield Jamison
Free Press Paperbacks
Copyright 1993

Technorati Tags[mania]

Bipolar Disorder and Seeking Solitude while Resisting the Recluse

I only go out to
get me a fresh
appetite
for being alone.
Lord Byron

There are many, Bipolar or not, who enjoy solitude.
A line exists between solitude and loneliness.
In maintaining mental health it is also necessary to resist reclusive behavior as this may lead to other symptoms.

The reason behind the desire for solitude may be pure personal preference. No sign or symptoms of illness or fear. Sometimes the reason is because it is just easier to live with less activity in one's head, or with more ability to control it.

There is an extreme sometimes (extremes to come with the territory of Bipolar), which may be a tendency or symptom with Bipolar Disorder, to let the comfort of the solitude take over. Those who walk this line should be careful. It can be easy to get too comfortable and too uncomfortable with people and social situations. Ultimately, despite our desire for solitude, we still benefit from human contact and personal friendship.


[Bipolar]
[Solitude]

Bipolar Disorder Effects Work

The recent research reports are showing that Bipolar Disorder is costing companies more sick days than major depression.

Results from a resent survey conducted by the World Health Organization reported Bipolar to be associated with 65.5% and major depressive disorder with 27.2% lost work days per year. In subgroups it was not mania that was associated with the Bipolar work days but depressive episodes.*

Reports like this alert employers to take action like this report suggests:

Effectiveness trials are needed to study the return on employer investment of coordinated programs for workplace screening and treatment of bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder.”*

I personally have a hard time commenting on this because I have been self-employed for some time now. Although, after reading this article a professional asked me how many "down" days I had a year. I answered, but with clarification because I reminded him how each patient may interpret their personal symptoms differently; not always using a clinical definition or if so not one properly. I also clarified that depression usually follows mania, for me.

Times can be very difficult, just like in any illness the workplace needs to be compassionate to help people survive. However, probing in to your mental health status and treatment is crossing a serious boundary.

On the other hand, is this research news that works to the advantage of those who can not work at all? Will information like this aid in SSDI? There is a range of serverity in Bipolar Disorder and for some full-time regular employment is not possible. Perhaps for SSDI this information will be helpful.


*Am J Psychiatry. 2006 Sep;163(9):1561-8. Links
Prevalence and effects of mood disorders on work performance in a nationally
representative sample of u.s. Workers.Kessler RC, Akiskal HS, Ames M,
Birnbaum H, Greenberg P, A RM, Jin R, Merikangas KR, Simon GE, Wang PS.
Department of Health Care Policy, Harvard Medical School, 180 Longwood Ave.,
Boston, MA 02115


[Bipolar]

Off my meds, wow.

The flu is tough when you must take medication. I am sure it is terrible for those in chronic pain as well. It is almost chaos. Chaos for those who need it for our brain chemicals.

My medications can prevent:
Psychosis:
This can occur in episodes of severe mania or depression. He or she may also have strange and false beliefs (delusions).

Delusion (de-lu-zhun):
A fixed belief that has no basis in reality and is not affected by rational argument or evidence to the contrary. People experiencing delusions are often convinced they being persecuted by others and are said to be "paranoid."

These also help me sleep.

A very important factor in recovering from a four day flu and in maintaining Bipolar Moods.

My other two med's are mood stabilizers.

I did not sleep for four nights. I could not take my medication either. I felt myself ready to slip in to a place I did not belong, I thought about those who can never get their medications...
It is just so unfair.

It would have only been a matter of one or two more days for me to regress to a place where I did not belong. So many individuals suffering out there who just need there medication and are afraid to ask, unable to get it, or do not realize they need it. It strikes me so hard every time I go to the city. I know I have written about it before, I apologize for being redundant. This time it was my illness that showed me again, how so many are powerless. How scary.

How grateful am I, mercurial mind and all.

Mania, Working Past the "Madness", Not With It

I am guilty of believing the stereotypical view of some of history's famous Bipolar artists, musicians, and authors. This idea that either in a deep depression or a manic high they are producing incredible works of art. That it is in these moments their creativity peaks.


While believing this, it was always difficult to understand. It is through personal experience that I find some of my own most creative moments also the most difficult. The chaos that comes with the mania, the speed of my thoughts, and words begins to effect the home. If I do not catch many of these manic moments or times of rapid cycling I can speed so high the crash will not only be painful, but take much time to recover. This is why I try not to play around with mania. It is too risky.

I have been reading "Anne Sexton, a Self-Portrait in Letters". In the book Anne writes that her doctor gives her a manic depressive diagnosis. One letter she writes in response to a fan wanting critique of his work. He must have questioned about this same idea, working and writing when felling, as they said in the book and in the 1960's "the madness". What was so intriguing to me is that Anne Sexton did not write about "the madness" being a creative force in her work. This is when I realized I had been presumptuous to think so all this time; about Anne Sexton, Sylvia Plath, or Lord Byron.

In fact Anne Sexton responds to her eager fan that he should get over the madness, it does not make him a better writer, and it will not help him create anything better. She is not discounting the presence of his and especially her own illness.
She is saying one must work hard and be disciplined, because nothing will come from "the madness".

After reading her letter...it makes me think twice about my own creative projects; how to get beyond "the madness" when it is inhibiting my on productivity.

Anne Sexton was very sick, hospitalized multiple times, yet still is one of the best female poets of all time. However, I take into consideration heavily how much she may have sacrificed her family and home life to be the writer she was, illness' and all.

Mania can be the forbidden fruit, it is so tempting. Learning to work past it, instead of along with it is a safer course.


[Mania]
[Creativity]
[Sexton]

Family Triggers

Over the years I learned what things may trigger my Bipolar Symptoms.
In knowing this I might enter a situation more lightly or cautiously, or not at all.
Certain situations may require total avoidance because the triggers are so strong.

Most people with Bipolar Disorder or even some other mental illness's can relate to triggers, but a trigger is unique to the individual. There can not be a blanket statement made such as, all persons with Bipolar can not handle conflict.

There are times in my life when I must seriously consider entering a situation that may be a trigger; the risk versus the benefit. This is also my responsibility.

Many times family can be a trigger.

The most tragic event is a death in the family, especially close family. For those who choose this includes a funeral.
By all means, attending a funeral for a family member is a must.
(By all means, for most families this means some sort of conflict in the air to add to the despair)
That is the thought before remembering, family... trigger...funeral..travel.
Now the risk versus benefit is very difficult to weigh.
The anticipation during the thought process and decision making is almost a trigger in it's own.

This is the burden of knowledge.


[Bipolar]
[triggers]

Bipolar Disorder Awareness Day; How Far Have We Come?

It is Mental Illness Awareness Week, MIAW, and yesterday was Bipolar Disorder Awareness Day, BDAD. BDAD is celebrated every Thursday of Mental Illness Awareness Week. NAMI will be focusing on free mental health screening, symptom education, and the encouragement of treatment.

NAMI created MIAW in 1990 in an effort to fight stigma and promote education. Sixteen years later our battle is not even close to being over.

The lack of education and stigma about mental illness prevent those that need help from getting it. This can be because they do not recognize symptoms or due to embarrassment.
The more we inform our society and provide resources, the easier it will be to reduce the stigma and for patients to get the help they need.

"The public understanding of bipolar disorder remains unacceptably low, yet with proper diagnosis and treatment, people with bipolar disorder can and do reclaim their lives," said Suzanne Vogel-Scibilia, MD, President, NAMI National Board of Directors. "Given the fact that the consequences of lack of treatment are very serious, it is very important for everyone to know that treatment is available and it works."*


Note:
This week is quite timely when it comes to referencing my previous post, Mercurial Minds Doubting Toms. It was in this post that I wrote of the frustration in dealing with ignorance in inter-personal relationships. The response of visitors seemed to have a common frustration.

This united effort of educating the public also helps those of us who have already reclaimed our lives’ in educating our loved ones.

One day the time will come when the visions of asylums are fading away and those with Bipolar Disorder sit as comfortable in a room as a diabetic.

(right?)

*http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/061005/cgth015.html?.v=76