Bipolar Rage

If you are not a reader or subscriber of BP Magazine. I strongly suggest you at least visit their site occasionally. They distribute four issues a year, I hope someday more.

The 2006 Spring issue I found particular on point. Three great topics all in one issue; Bipolar and sleep, creativity, and anger. It is not always so much about providing information that I do not know, but providing fellowship. The later is what I was most happy to see printed in a media form.

One of the most disrupting Bipolar symptoms in my life has been rage. Sudden rage, at the flick of a switch. I say sudden, which it is, because the rage does come so very fast. However, in my Bipolar years I have learned that there can be a lead up of events, triggers that I may not have even recognized. I am constantly learning and observing my own emotions. This is a difficult task for anyone, Bipolar or not.

That is part of the Bipolar definition; emotions to far extremes.
Sometimes when life is busy or stressful, and many emotions are trying to make their way around, it is hard to notice anger. It is very important to be cognizant of even the smallest bits of anger and learn how to deal with it in a healthy manner. This is one way I have learned to prevent Bipolar rage episodes. I wish there was more discussion on this topic. This is why I was so happy to see BP Magazine print an article on it.

In my experience I seem to find many articles, books, and support groups related to Bipolar Disorder and depression or mania. Sometimes there are small sections dedicated to anger and rage, but never enough. Bipolar rage I think is sometimes kept quiet. Maybe for fear of exposure. If not given the medication and coping mechanisms it can be detrimental to relationships and lives. With the proper knowledge, psychiatric care, and anger management a Bipolar with manic rages or mixed episode rages and can improve their lives and overall well being.

I enjoyed reading
BP Magazine Spring IssueMaking the most of anger before it gets the best of you!
By Stephen Propst. Kudos to BP magazine and Mr. Propst for addressing the issue in a manner that did not depict Bipolar individuals in the stereotypical media fashion. The article provides insight and information for dealing with anger and rage.

I encourage everyone with Bipolar, or if you have a loved one with BP, to check out BP Magazine.

bipolar rage

Seroquel; It is Working! Please don't go after it, too!

Crazy is as crazy does. The Mental Health and Pharmaceutical system is just that. It makes no sense to me. I am thankful for AstraZeneca and Seroquel, whatever all the rest of this means, I am sure folks have their own opinion.

The news today is that AstraZeneca, Europe's third largest drug maker, is reaching record sales largely due to one of it's top five products, Seroquel. Seroquel, for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder has increased in sales in the United States.
For more information Therapeutics Daily; AstraZeneca Set for Results Record

Ironically, just as Seroquel sales shoot through the roof, there are already lawyers and patients in line. People who are claiming similar suits to that of Lily and Zyprexa with the weight gain. This is where, the claimant is able to sue because of lack of disclosure of possible side effects or improper marketing.

This article compares these law suits to the new personal injury lawyers.
You can check it out Herald Tribune;Following suit: More drugs coming under legal attack

This is one of those moments I try to look at things from all perspectives. I am no expert. I am just a drug user;)
I need these pharmaceutical companies. Sometimes I think they are chastised too easily. Especially if costs are driven by law-suits, the same as our insurance is driven by the uninsured. Especially if the US is not going to have any home based companies because we are always last in line for USDA approval on things that European countries approved years ago. Especially if we drive our scientists and doctors to other countries that are more apt to fund and approve their work.

We are so advanced yet so antiquated in so many ways.



seroquel
astrazeneca

Toy Pen Syringes, Seriously?

These are actually on the counter of my local pharmacy, for sale!
I know this is off topic, but I could not resist.

Maybe I am behind the times and this is an old issue.
I searched a bit about Toy Pen Syringes, novelty shops are selling them everywhere!
I thought I would find a bunch of Mommy-Group or Toy Safety articles about the pens. I only found a few articles objecting to these pens. Maybe if I invested more time I would find more. Perhaps it is because the Google pages are saturated with sites selling the pens.

Maybe my research skills need some tuning. Either that or the Mommy Zealots have not seen these cute little pens yet.

One article was written in 1998 and it was in regards to the dangers of the toy and the littering of the pens just like real syringes. We teach our children not to touch syringes or things of this nature on the street, a colorful toy such as these pens is confusing to a young child.

Another article was about British Nurses' receiving these pens as awards. Not only is this an oddly offensive award, but it gets a bit stranger. The article states, "It has also raised serious concerns among security staff. They fear people brandishing the pen could be mistaken for dangerous drug addicts...". Well, that is something to think about.

Just odd, don't you think?


This Is York Archive; Warning Over Syringe

British Nursing News: Nurses' Award is Toy Syringe

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times; Bipolar Minds, a Question?

After education, therapy, medication and time a certain sense of stability is achievable with Bipolar Disorder.

Stable Bipolar; an oxymoron I am afraid in every sense.

Prevention is one of the key ingredients to staying healthy. Any person with any sickness learns this. One learns what is healthy and not healthy for their condition; what will cause adverse affects.

This is the same with Bipolar Disorder. After we oxymoronically stabilize on bipolar medication we take cognitive steps to stay healthy as well.

In the best of times this usually works out pretty well. When the medication is right, lifestyle, and our ducks seem to be in a row.

In the worst of times the stability becomes slippery as the Bipolar pendulum of moods begins to swing far and fast. The emotions will go deep. Depth is part of the problem the magnitude of moods, they are the extreme.

In the worst of times, whether it be Death, Health, or other personal crisis the Bipolar Spirit should be prepared to arm themselves with shields of loved ones and protectors. We should also know our limitations, limit the risks we take or risky situations we put ourselves in during fragile times.

This is difficult. Facing ultimate decisions like, "Do I attend this event when I feel this way?"
"I am not in a good place. My actions are my responsibility."

I have found myself facing these decisions regarding family gatherings and even funerals. I know many coping techniques, preventative measures, removing myself from risky settings. I also know that sometimes when the pressure and stress is great enough there is not a 100% guarantee I can prevent some sort of Bipolar Rage Episode; my biggest BP battle. Unless, however, I avoid the situation when I am not well.

Not everyone experiences Bipolar Rage. Others experience similar feelings I imagine due to their depression. I can also relate to those that feel uncomfortable while manic and socializing.

Of course most of the time we aspire to be healthy.

In these Worst of Times, how do you cope with your illness?
Do you bite the bullet and try to make it?
Or for the sake of everyone do you opt out? If so, do you have regrets?

Bipolar Seeking Disability- This Post is a Must

My Disability Blog is an awesome blog for anyone who is attempting to apply for disability! We all know how difficult it is to work with the disability system.

If you are in need of assistance do not let the system or some "welfare" mindset scare you away.

You must check out this article.

Bipolar Disorder, Social Security Disability, and Mixed States

Bipolar Stereotyping and Reductionism:StigmaBuster Alert!

In regards to my previous post with the annoying article:
This is the response I wrote to the editor of the publishing group and I copied it to the author of the article.

Oh, the author claims to write for that BP forum...I could not find the article on the website. There was no contact information so I was unable to alert the webmaster.

Dear Group Editor,

I am a writer and member of the Best Free Content Community. I am also a member of NAMI, DBSA, and a writer and advocate for mental health. I am very concerned about the content of the
above referenced article..

The stereotyping and reductionism of a biochemical disease such as Bipolar Disorder in this article, "Bipolar Imbalances And Hormones" by Pieternel Van Giersbergen, is offensive to Bipolar individuals and the mental health community.

The author's ignorance about the disease is clearly apparent in statements such as, "One thing bipolar patients have in common is that they take heavy medications, particularly antidepressants that have many side effects."- This is a huge generalization. Not every bipolar individual suffers from depression. As a matter of fact many bipolar individuals can not take antidepressants. Bipolar Disorder, it's symptoms, and treatments are as unique as the individual.

The entire argument about women going through hormonal changes and calling it bipolar is not reflected in any medical statistics or reports I read. Everything I read states the onset of Bipolar Disorder varies between the ages of 20- early 30's. Generally speaking, this is not when women are going through menopause.

Lastly, the writer suggests that if women were to just use some common sense, eat some chocolate, change their diet, and probably buy some of this hormone cream the writer is selling, they would not need to take the "easy way out" of a bipolar diagnosis".

If the hundreds of thousands of bipolar individuals found it as easy as this to alleviate debilitating symptoms, we would. Intellectual self-discerning individuals with independent thoughts.
Individuals who have read hundreds of Bipolar books to take on every symptom the best they can. Symptoms that are not simply treated with Prozac or Paxil; in six years I have never been on an anti-depressant nor would my doctor ever prescribe one for me.

These erroneous statements are simply offensive.

The author states this article is posted on Bipolardot.com. I do not see this article, nor any other article from this author on this website. Which does not surprise me as their articles are all written by advocates for mental health. I hope this is not a malicious attempt on the authors part to also appear to be an advocate for mental health.

The author also states that they are an ER Nurse. This article does not bode well for the recent rating of the United States Mental Health System. NAMI gave us a "D" average. This article is demonstrative of the level of understanding of mental illness in our emergency room's. It is not any better than that of an average American; filled with ignorance and stigma.

In today's world when organizations like the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill are launching campaigns such as Stigma Busters, writers and publishers are going be held much more accountable for the work they produce.

"NAMI StigmaBusters is a group of dedicated advocates across the country and around the world who seek to fight the inaccurate, hurtful representations of mental illness. Whether these images are found in TV, film, print, or other media, StigmaBusters speak out and challenge stereotypes in an effort to educate society about the reality of mental illness and the courageous struggles faced by consumers and families every day. StigmaBusters' goal is to break down the barriers of ignorance, prejudice, or unfair discrimination by promoting education, understanding, and respect.

Each month, close to 20,000 advocates receive the NAMI StigmaBusters Alert, and it is read by countless others around the world online and in mental health centers, hospitals, universities and elsewhere. Numbers do count, so let your voice be heard."
NAMI:StigmaBusters


I hope that Best Free Content also wants to help "break down the barriers of ignorance".

Sincerely,
L.G. Larsen


bipolar stigma

This Bipolar Article; what are your opinions? I am not pleased.

I am in the publishing industry; I write articles and I also have many articles sent to me. One of my preferred topics is mental health. I use much caution in who I decided to work with in this area. I am thrilled when I find an author who is an advocate for mental health. Today I came across and article that I was not only full of erroneous statements about bipolar disorder, but when I come to the bottom of the article I find this is from someone who writes for a Bipolar Website.

In the past I have written about how in taking medical or psychological advice from any internet source one must use caution and common sense.

Today, I am reminded of the social responsibilities of publishers. The responsibility of the thousands of internet publishers to actually be accountable for the for the material they produce.

This includes webmasters being responsible for their web content. I do not mean Blogger and such. I mean a web page that is acting on the premise of something like mental health.

Okay, now you may go ahead and read the article. See if you can pick up on what are ignorant statements due to lack of knowledge of the disease. See if you pick up on what is infuriating me.

I will post later on exactly what my response to this article was.

(I give the links to the author and web site as it is in my agreement to reprint the article.)

Article Title: Bipolar Imbalances And Hormones
Author: Pieternel Van Giersbergen

Working as a nurse in the emmergency room you meet a beautiful
variety of people. Among those for whom I feel a special
sympathy are those with bipolar. They can of course be quite
the characters: some hear voices, some live on the streets,
some have an extraordinary sense of humor, some love to sing
and entertain… and much more. One thing bipolar patients have
in common is that they take heavy medications, particularly
antidepressants that have many side effects. To whatever
question you ask these patients, the answer will often be,
“Well, I have bipolar.” As if this one sad fact is sufficient
explanation for all possible questions.

But the word “bipolar”, of course, does not explain everything,
and this is particularly true for women having problems with
hormonal changes. For example, one woman had a hysterectomy
because of severe bleeding, then had to go on hormone
replacement therapy. After a couple of months she completely
“lost it”. She became convinced that she had to move far, far
away and take up missionary work – to the alarm of her
concerned family. Bingo. She was put on antidepressants and
given the convenient label of “bipolar.” Well – she took her
antipressants cross-country with her and ended up living on the
streets with the homeless. Rescued finally, by some good
friends, she was brought back home, where she if now off most
medication, trying to stay as sane as possible, and still
saddled with the heavy label of “bipolar.”

Many women in and around menopause go haywire… but is that
necessarily bipolar? I often wonder at how strongly hormones
can affect mental health, as is often the case with women after
childbirth, with the so-called ‘baby blues’. Often due to the
hormone progesterone easy to fix with natural progesterone
cream. Likewise, women – and men in their own hormonal midlife
crisis – often get depressed. But should this really be any
surprise? After all, so many things are changing at this point
– it’s like adolesence all over again, but in reverse! New
sensations and a new view of life… letting go of the old ways
and struggling with the new… There can be a lot of confusion
with many challenging questions demanding to be lived.
Unfortunately, many take the easy road and simply dodge the
whole thing. They accept being depressed and can even console
themselves with the mantra, “After all, I’m bipolar.”

One solution might simply be to use common sense. Bipolar or
not, it’s essential to take in enough essential amino acids and
different forms of protein. Many people’s protein intake is
limited and unvarying: just red meat, chicken and eggs. If you
read Dr. Eric Braverman’s book “The Edge Effect”, you’ll see
that we need protein from many sources, including meat,
poultry, nuts, eggs, fish, dairy, beans, and vegetables.

This approach is helpful for all of us, but especially for
those with bipolar – whether it’s the real thing or not. Dark
chocolate can be helpful too, offering some of the same
benefits as such antidepressants as Prozac and Paxil, but with
no side effects. Just as healthy foods are vital for growing
children, they are crucial for anybody going through big
changes or having a difficult time. So be sure to eat well and
exercise, and study Dr. Braverman’s “The Edge Effect”. Give
yourself what your brain needs to function well and create
harmony in your being. Don’t worry so much about your bipolar-
or the bipolar label. Apply your thoughts to the constructive
self-healing that is possible.

Common sense is not so common. Good luck with finding what
works for you!

Warmly, Pieternel

About The Author: This article is written for
www.bipolardot.com
Pieternel has a website with all
natural health products like natural progesterone creams
Prosperine www.pieternel.com
and writes articles for other sites.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bipolar Mania versus Productivity; A Fine Line Exists Between the Two

One of the most frustrating challenges in my life is the issue of productivity. I am fortunate that I do not suffer from frequent bouts of deep states of depression. I do count my blessings for this.

There, of course, is another side of the Bipolar spectrum. If I am productive, on task, feeling good, and the most frightening thought of all developing ideas...then I must stop and assess my situation.

I find this discouraging and it can sometimes halt my productivity completely; out of fear for what is around the corner.

The fear of, is this a productive healthy person or a mania which will me followed up by a crash?

So back to the old check list of what exactly is mania.

Symptoms of mania - the "highs" of bipolar disorder
(From DBSA)

Increased physical and mental activity and energy

Heightened mood, exaggerated optimism and self-confidence

Excessive irritability, aggressive behavior

Decreased need for sleep without experiencing fatigue

Grandiose delusions, inflated sense of self-importance

Racing speech, racing thoughts, flight of ideas

Impulsiveness, poor judgment, distractibility

Reckless behavior

In the most severe cases, delusions and hallucinations
----------------------------------------------------------------

Well, some of those symptoms do overlap with a normally productive person.
So, then I need to look a little closer.

Hmm,
"Decreased need for sleep." Check
"Increased mental activity." Ideas, ideas, ideas. Dreams and ideas layered like a philo dough recipe; maybe Baklava. Check
"Exaggerated Optimism and self-confidence." Oh darn, I don't know, maybe Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison really does want to participate in a joint venture with me? I am expecting a returned letter any day;)Check
"Reckless Behavior" Not sleeping is not taking care of myself. For me, lost sleep is dangerously reckless behavior. Check

Oh darn, too many checks.

Maintaining a Psychiatrist and Psychologist; Your Bipolar Lifeline

Often waters have calmed, and life seems to be manageable. It may seem it is not necessary for a bipolar individual to maintain regular appointments with a therapist or psychologist. Of course, routine visits with a psychiatrist and any necessary lab work are always necessary.

Personally, this inconsistency in my relationship with the various psychologists or therapists over the years has not been helpful. Whether it be denial or plain laziness, the decision to drop the ball with my Psychologist simply because I feel good, leads to problems in the future.

If I am not in need of regular talk therapy or psychotherapy, then the basic need for a psychologist is to be there in the event of a crisis situation. Even better, to help you prevent or anticipate a manic or depressive episode so that you do not even enter that crisis situation.

It is great if I am feeling good. Even if I am feeling good, I have learned to make a quick stop at the psychologists office about once a month to let him know. When things get tricky the appointments increase in frequency.

Another reason I decided to stop dropping the psychologists like a bad habit is that funky feeling I get leaving the Psychiatrist's office. A Psychiatrist is simply there for medication purposes. Yet, I still answer personal heart wrenching questions about my deepest feelings and emotions at the moment. My mind and spirit are stirred up for about fifteen minutes and then the nice Doctor says, "Okay, I will see you in three weeks."

I have no idea how the Psychiatrists have perfected the technique of listening without responding to anything but technical and medical applications. The rest is left for psychotherapy and that is not what his time is for.

I drive away feeling a little rejected. This is a huge improvement from tears in the elevator in my Bipolar freshman days; "He hates me!" "I am never coming back." "I said something stupid." "Why did I say THAT?".

It is not the doctor, trust me. I have seen at least ten Psychiatrists over the southern coast of California. California; psycho-babble psychiatrist-guru-ville. If you want a Psychiatrist who will also see you for therapy, you better be willing to pay hard cash. (You also have to be ready to seed through the Bonaduci Barfologists; pardon me, but I could not sit in that man's office for more than a minute. To each his own, this is yet another reason to plan ahead and find the doctor you really like and feel comfortable with. Do not waste hours going to someone that gives you the creeps or you are just simply annoyed by. It just will not work, move onward and upward. Oh dear, I just admitted to watching that garbage.)

I do not have a problem with having two doctors. I like the fact that my Psychiatrist specializes in the science of biochemistry and medication. That is a highly specialized field. I appreciate that he spends his time specifically in this area.

Finally, it is not always easy to find a good therapist or psychologist. You need to hunt and hunt hard. It may take time and you do not want to wait until the last minute when you are in crisis. If you have are already a patient of a doctor it will be much easier to get in when you need to in a hurry. The system does not make it easy. In the article The Ghost Network Dr. Deborah Serani discusses the challenges of finding a therapist within the HMO and insurance networks.

Most importantly, it just feels good to have someone on your side of the court. Someone who has more than fifteen minutes and is there strictly to listen to you. ;)

This is especially nice for those days that my motor mouth moves so fast my family finds themselves hiding from the draining drone of my tone.

U.S. resources go to DBSA or
NAMI

Bipolar Patients May Experience A Hypersensitivity to Sound

Have you ever heard the phrase "Eighty Percent of all questions are statements."?
(That one falls in the twenty percent valid question category.)

I think this is what much of my internet research is, validation of what I already know. In a world where I must question the validity of my own thoughts this is necessary. For instance, sometimes I am hypersensitive to sounds. It was important for me to reaffirm this is the nature of my illness, bipolar disorder. The nature of a biochemical disease.

Had I not remembered that it could be my head in a strange state, it would be a fast path to destruction. Destruction of my relationship with my husband and the dynamics of my family.

There is a bit of a hint that something is wrong when a bite of cereal from a dear loved one makes every muscle as tight as rope holding nine hundred pounds. An angelic voice from a beautiful daughter is like fingernails on my synapses and neurotransmitters. A beep of a department store scanner sends surges of almost uncontrollable rage to my endorphins. Even the the human touch can trigger a startle reflex.

To feel this way is disgusting, inhuman. As a mother, to feel this way about your children causes debilitating guilt. When I enter these mixed states I feel the way until I come across articles like the one I found at the British Columbia Schizophrenia Society. BCSS states that patients can experience perceptual changes, "There may also be hypersensitivity to sounds, tastes, and smells. A ringing telephone might seem as loud as a fire alarm bell, or a loved ones voice as threatening as a barking dog."*

This was not new information to me. I have been around a few hundred bipolar blocks. I just need regular affirmations that this is not me. This is the dark side of the force. I am not an anti-social cruel hateful person. I enjoy my loved ones voices and touch.

I am just in a strange spot at the moment. The simple awareness is already alleviating the agitation.

I do not think I will go to any department stores with beeping devices today.


*BCSS:British Columbia Schizophrenia Society


SIDE NOTE:
As a follow up my post Mercurial Mind Bipolar Blog: A Deficiency in Our American Homes; Ignoring the Children in Mentally Ill Households

Regarding The British Columbia Schizophrenia Society, I personally do not know the state mental health in British Columbia. I do know that NAMI gave the US a "D" average for mental health services in February of this year. I have also written articles about the community health services in various states across our nation.

Even in the few states that rated above a "B", like Ohio, I never saw anything like BCSS and their tremendous effort to educate and promote awareness about the mental illness all the way down to the grade school systems.

We can only hope that the US historical trend for mental health care will not continue. An excerpt from a Letter from NAMI Executive Director, Michael J. Fitzpatrick:
In 1990, NAMI released its last state ratings report. It described a system of services that, despite enormous expenditure of resources, was not "even minimally acceptable." It detailed great regional and state variations in the existing system of care. Sixteen years later, mental illnesses cause more disability than any other class of medical illness in America. Recent reports from the U.S. Surgeon General, President Bush's New Freedom Commission, and the Institute of Medicine describe well a "system in shambles" and the "chasm" between promise and performance.
NAMI Grading the States: A Letter from the Executive Directory

Bipolar Disorder; Dreams and Night Terrors- The Mercurial Mind Asleep

Sleeping is a mysterious phenomenom. It is also the number one obstacle I meet in living with Bipolar Disorder. It is not just insomnia, it is much more bazarre and complicated with the same devastating effects on your health and mood.

Recently I have caught myself loosing sleep and as it begins to increase nightly, so do the nightmares. It is important that I do not fool myself in to thinking these were restful nights. I really should chalk them up on the board as antother sleepless night, as not to fool myself that my sleeping patterns are okay. This sleep disruption is the first sign of mania in this mercurial mind. Many bipolar individuals recognize this feeling.

A reader can find hundreds of books and internet sites on the subject of dream interpretaition. After reading just a few samples of these it becomes comman sense to figure out what your unconcious is telling you. For instance, the old "I am late for class, or can't get in my locker, or I have not studied." when you have not been in a classroom for years. The books usually report this dream related to something along the lines of anxiety about being prepared. Standing in the middle of your old high school gym or a business meeting naked, perhaps you are feeling over exposed or you are hiding something. Not too tricky, once you get the hang of it.

(Although, I do not think I will ever understand why sometimes I have so much chewing gum in my mouth I can not even speak. I pull it and pull at it more, but just keeps coming out like a majicians majic scarf. I quickly start stuffing it in pockets and sleeves to hide it. What in the world am I going to do with all of this gum? Where is it coming from? All the while some important person is trying to converse with me. It is like an I Love Lucy episode.)

There is something I find more confusing. Bipolar Dreams. I recently read an article, Nightmares and Night Terrors in Bipolar Disorder.* The article discusses a study of bipolar patients and night terrors. The most interesting point was that night terrors are really not that common among adults. However, this study noted that amongst those who reported to be Bipolar the rate of night terror occurance is higher.

I have various stages of interrupted sleeping cycles. Sometimes I have interrupted sleep. Other nights I will have so many wildly vivid nightmares that when I wake up I am exhausted, both mentally and physically. Many event filled nights like this are equally disruptive to ones mood and health as insomnia. The nightmares are reptitive thrue the night with the same reacuuring themes thoroughout my life. Frieghtened, abandoned, lost, and scared are usually the premis.

Sometimes I will wake up screaming, and I will still feel the anger toward the person in the dream. Worse, if it was a painful hurtful dream, I will feel that pain after I wake. The pain and anger will resinate through the day.

One does not awake from a night like this feeling rested.
The confusion of why my inner most thoughts bring me to a place like that weigh heavy on me for the day. Why did I think that, feel that? Why about her our him? Then I must tell myself, perhaps it was the nature of the beast (the Bipolar) getting to me when I sleep.

I should not be analyzing the beast through a distorted Bell Jar perspective.
The Bell Jar holding the secrets that I keep in my sleep.

The dreams, the phenomena, is so ingriguing despite the stress and lack of sleep I will still ponder it all. Especially when I wake bursting with obsenities, cursing at the top of my lungs. My poor husband, he fears that it is him. In the morning he questions why I was so upset with him to speak to him that way in my nightmare (as I only curse like crazy when I am manic).

I was stuck in a rock and a hard spot. I did remember the few bits of the nightmare that led me to a screaming rage. It was a woman, it was his mother.

*Nightmares and Night Terrors in Bipolar Disorder