A Deficiency in Our American Homes; Ignoring the Children in Mentally Ill Households

There are many discussions of the need for support and social acceptance for family issues such as alcoholism, gambling, divorce and even the terminally ill. Frequently the phrase, “You are not alone.“ is used when addressing families and children who are dealing with these issues. A different world of struggling, suffering, and erroneous social stigma exists. A world where mommy and/or daddy are at home and may appear perfectly fine, yet the child feels no stability, all alone, and wishes someone would understand.

Mental Illness is the invisible disease that invades millions of homes. For those who suffer from Bipolar Disorder, this is a chronic illness that effects their daily lives. Despite Hollywood’s attempt to glamorize a life threatening disease (Although many persons with bipolar disorder who attempt suicide never actually complete it, the annual average suicide rate in men and women with diagnosed bipolar disorder (0.4%) is more than 20 times that in the general population (3). From another perspective, about half of all suicides can be attributed to bipolar disorder (4).)* and despite the multitudes of creative genius produced by bipolar poets, artists, musicians, the social stigma is debilitating to a family. It impedes the entire mental health communities attempts of eliminating ignorance. This ignorance and miss-information also prevents so many from getting the help they need; usually resulting in self-medication or death. Help that could result in a child transitioning to adulthood with no one to guide them but the instability of an untreated mentally ill family member.

Children in the homes of mentally ill family members need to be educated and informed just like the adult members of the family. Discussing the illness with the children of the household helps to disspell any myths or misinformation they may have heard or seen on television. The children in the home need a support system just like a spouse or parent of a mentally ill individual would. An excellent author and advocate for the mentally ill is writer Bebe Moore Campbell. Campbell’s children’s book Sometimes My Mommy Gets Angry is a wonderful way to open the discussion of mental illness with young children. A raw story about a little girl who sometimes has to take care of her self. A girl for children who are surviving the struggles of mental illness to relate to.

Without increased awareness and education to our communities, the children of the mentally ill households will be ignored. They will continue to grow with the stigma around them and many individuals will continue to go without treatment. With the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill giving the United States a “D” average for mental health care this past February, it is time for major attention and reform to mental health care services. This must include ongoing campaigns for education and awareness. Education infiltrated through the school systems just like the Disability Awareness campaigns. It is time for our children to stop feeling alone.

Citrome L, Goldberg JF. Bipolar disorder is a potentially fatal disease. Postgrad Med 2005;117(2):9-11

Ah, the Soul Surviving a Sleepless Night

Insomnia, a problem for many. The tossing, turning, constant clock watching is not just a another restless night for the mercurial minds of the bipolar. The lingering effects of the lost sleep can cause a domino effect that will be quite damaging.

If my night was bad then I be sure to use extra caution and take care of myself in the day. I will keep my tasks and expectations to a minimum. I try to be extra aware of my moods, especially my tone and any changes it makes. I also make sure that I do whatever I can to aid in the next nights sleep. This means getting some exercise in the day, eating right, taking my medication, and if I am at all apprehensive or feeling ‘high’ then I contact my doctor. The last thing I will try to do is take a nap. If I find this is necessary, then I make sure I don’t sleep longer than a half hour. I want to be sure not to interrupt my sleep cycle any further.

If the next night does not get any better, then I am need to contact the doctor. It is hard to remember this, and I must be diligent in doing so. The fact is, too many sleepless nights will cause episodes of mania or rage. Every person who is a survivor of bipolar disorder is unique and the disease is just as unique to them. It takes some of us many years to figure out how to manage our mercurial moods. Even after all the years the task is ever challenging and I do not know that we are ever 100% successful. Awareness and education are the key to keeping peace in your life.

Bipolar Journaling; Are you honest?

In response to my previous post about journaling,
jane said...
"...I am almost sure I write my blog more to clear my head. I hate to admit it, but I don't think I'm honest enough with myself to write as a diary."

This is something to seriously consider. It really only matters in regards to your intentions and what you expect to benefit from your journaling. What curious creatures are we that we can keep private journals or diaries and actually continue to write for the benefit for others and still not ourselves.

What is the nature of this beast? All too frequently I read about many who struggle with Bipolar Disorder and the anxiety of what others are thinking about them. I of course am not excluded from this group. I must consistently work on this to keep it from interfering with my life and relationships.

I will frequently preface a journal entry with something like, "This is just for me, and not for anyone else. To empty my Lord Byron mind. (Well that is a pretentious statement!) None the less, I find I actually will re-phrase or pause before writing at the thought of someone reading the pretty little book someday.

Maybe this is insecurity or maybe this is a grandiose dream that I will become the next Sylvia Plath or Anne Sexton. Neither one of them bothered to care about the judgement of their personal exposure in their writing. Especially the later, and she suffered much critique for this.

Bipolar Mood Journaling; your friend or foe?

Bipolar Disorder and journaling, the two are either friends or enemies. Whether you have a mental illness or not journaling can be very advantageous to your mood and spirit. Some journal like they would a diary, others do to clear their heads. As Lord Byron said, “If I don’t write to empty my mind, I go mad.” Lord Byron is on the list of famous Bipolar Celebrities, by the way.

More often than not if you speak to someone who is Bipolar, especially if they are a writer, they journal. Many therapist and psychologists suggest mood journaling as a means of tracking the ups and downs of the illness. The irony of these journals is that when it comes time to use it as needed, it is really hard to get your little book out at make a record of what your mood rating is for the moment. This is especially true when you are in a state of rage or extreme sadness. It does seem to be much easier to write about feelings than to track a numbered rating system.

The system does work however. My suggestion is to find a simpler way to make it work for you. If you carry a purse record numbers in a little address book. Make it simple, so you can pull it out quickly and throw it back it. If you are like me, the reality is if an unpleasant mood is upon me, I am not thinking about charts and graphs.

If you just can’t bear to do the number system, than just write a one or two words describing the moods in the book. Or even better if you still have interest in journaling, do it. Go back later and rate your journal entries. Be careful, you do not need to read the entire entry- sometimes this can be a trigger. You can get an idea of where you were at probably by the first few sentences and the penmanship.

The diligence is worth it. Many times you can find a cycle to the madness. You may even be able to start anticipating your next down slope. If you are not a cyclical person you may still find that certain situations or events are triggering you and you have not been aware of it. It is really hard to be fully aware of all of moods all of the time. Yet, this is crucial when there is an illness present that has the ability to tangle them up so.

Prevention and attention can make all the difference in the lives of those with mood disorders.
Take it from Lord Byron.

Bipolar Disorder Medications; Not a Quick Fix

Medications are drugs, and drugs are tricky. Each patient is uniquely wired, and that means that any given drug can effect each one of us differently. When speaking about trials and tribulations with Bipolar medications it is crucial that the patient and his or her family be aware of this. (This also important to remember when using or discussing alcohol or street drugs.) Especially today, in the cyberspace world of advice.

These days many of us seek online advice read of the experiences of others, frequently in online communities. There is a high search rate for medication information. Consumers are searching for side-effect information and more. Bipolar medications are often difficult to prescribe and patients have to struggle through a trial and error period to discover the right Bipolar medication for them. Bipolar medication is always un-chartered territory if the patient has never been on that drug before. It is important to know that the experience, the side effects, and even the relief of symptoms that someone is reporting may not be the same experience you have will have with that medication. You would never want to pass up a trusted physicians advice because of all the negative things you heard from your support group or online community.

An example is Zyprexa. Zyprexa is an anti-psychotic that also helps as a mood stabilizer. This drug has been reported to work wonders for some manic Bipolar patients in addition to helping with insomnia. Other patients report the weight gain and cloudy head feeling is unbearable. Lithium is usually on of the first line medications used to treat Bipolar Disorder. For some, this is their wonder drug for the rest of their lives. For others their system simply can not tolerate it and they must move on to something else.

It is a trial and error process because our brains are so unique. So many patients report the relief of symptoms far outweighs the struggle of finding the right Bipolar medication. An important key to success is communicating with your doctor. Be sure you notify your doctor of mood changes or physical symptoms right away. Too many people make the error of waiting it out only to find out they waited too long. It is better to control your mood and anticipate problems as much as possible before you dig yourself in to a hole. Never adjust or discontinue your Bipolar medications without discussing it with your doctor. Remember, the internet is a great resource but not a replacement for medical advice.

Online Bipolar Support: Risky Rx?

Online communities are great resources for information, especially regarding the various experience others have with Bipolar Medications, insurance and employment issues, and of course the support. There are hundreds of communities, everywhere from Delphi Forums, Blog Sites, to forums supported by DBSA; Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Many of us are able to find a sense of community and fellowship online that we are not able to acquire in person. With the nature of the content, moderating issues, and false information being par for the course in cyber space, many psychologists and therapists recommend caution in participating in online support groups.

I have been a member of different Bipolar Disorder support groups. My participation levels have varied from a lurker seeking information, to a moderator on an extremely busy message board with chat rooms. Many individuals will not go to a NAMI, DBSA, or other Bipolar support group. I have seen lonely individuals become active enthusiastic users after they get comfortable. People share and compare their trials and tribulations of the mercurial nature of this illness. Other users are simply seeking information. I have more than a hundred times over read the following post from new users or someone who is newly diagnosed:
"I am so happy I found this place. It is so nice to know I am not alone."
Or
"I never thought any one would understand, until I found this place."
This is a wonderful feeling many of us can remember the first time we connected with another Bipolar individual. The first time we read a stranger's words that werepitomepitomy of our own thoughts and feelings.

Some psychologists and therapists seem to feel this connection can become obsessive and unhealthy. They would much prefer their patient to be connecting to people in real life. I do see their point. I have seen yucky things happen in an on-line support group. Arguments triggering people in to horrible slamming. Worse, users in at risk or csituationsations solely seeking online help when they need to be in the hospital. One time a web site owner needed to call the police across the country. When the police arrived at the member's home they found the Bipolar support group member had attempted to overdose. An even worse scenario armanipulativealtive members with harmful intent; pretending to be sick, rallying many around them as if they are suicidal just for the attention. It is not healthy for any of us to be a part of this.

We are all responsible for our actions online. I think those of us who have received support that will never compare to that of real life, we will be online Bipolar online support group members permanently; despite the doctor's advice.
We just need to remember the same rules we teach children, use caution, be smart, and watch obsessive behavior. (If your beginning to smell and have not showered in a few days, maybe you need to take a break from the computer for a while.)

I am Bipolar and I am NOT a Pedophile (Thank you Debra LaFave for contributing to more media stigma!)

Debra Lafave is a pedophile.
While boasting a desire for promotion of education of the disease, Debra Lafave's comments in the press are the exact media garbage that lead to the ignorant stigma about Bipolar Disorder. I must have found five different radio stations discussing Debra and her use of Bipolar as an excuse, for the topic of the hour this evening.

It is so frustrating to listen to the ignorance, and Debra just set us back almost as far as a certain movie star did not to long ago.

Bipolar Disorder and Pedophilia have nothing to do with each other.

Debra Lafave is a pedophile. If she is bipolar than she is a Bipolar pedophile.

I think I am on the Homeless Blog Roll

It happened to me again. A desperate woman crossed my path last night at a Mc Donalds drive-thru. The woman from Friday is still resonating in my bones and I look for her every time I drive around, wondering if she is home in a house or home in a park.

I was picking my daughter up, it was about 9:30 PM. I was in the the city, not our little home town. I had just pulled up to the window waiting to pick up my food, when this woman holding an umbrella came up to the passenger window. She motioned with her hands, but I didn't know what she meant.

This may seem rude, but it was 9:30 and raining, and I was in East Los Angeles. I had to act with my Street Smart Hat on. I really hate putting that hat on. Sometimes that hat acts as a filter for what your heart would really like to do.

She came over to my window, she was Hispanic, dressed simple, and she had a very nice umbrella.
"Excuse me Mam, me, my daughter we are running away from my husband. Look at my head."

She tilted the umbrella so I could see the top of her head. She had her hair in a ponytail so it was easy to see her scalp. I did see a little red spot, maybe a bit of blood. In that split second the "Bobby" from Law and Order, Criminal Intent in me thought, 'Well, that does not look like too fresh of a would, and it also looks like it could have been from bumping her head, not being hit with an object.' Ha! Who did I think I was?

The Mc Donald man handed me my milkshake and she quickly retreated behind a bush. When I pulled forward she came back out.
"Please can you help us, anything?"

I have been around long enough to keep that stupid street smart hat on and listen to those that say do not give money to peddlers; we do not want them buying drugs.
I also know that the majority of our homeless are mentally ill.

When you are mentally ill yourself it is impossible to not feel intense empathy.
As a woman and a mother I can not turn my head on another mother.

I asked her what kind of help she wanted, money? She said yes. I only had two dollars, so I gave it to her. She took off and before I could get my car turned around I couldn't find her.
Should I call the police? Was she legit?

Should I have done more? Twice now, should I have done more?
I do not know.
We have a desperate need for mental health care reform. Is it suppose to start with me?

Homeless, hit to close to home

I frequently study the faces of the homeless, wondering if they are bipolar or schizophrenic, maybe an American Hero suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. I look in to their eye's and think, could that be me? Last Friday, I saw a woman that hit so close to home she is in bones now.

I will never know who she was or what she was all about, but my heart sunk and crushed when I saw her. It was 6:00 am and I was sitting in my car at one of those coffee drive-thru's. There were only a few cars on the street town. We have a few homeless elderly men who roam from park to park, but that is about it. This woman did not look homeless, well not really.

I saw her about a block down, at the end of the street mall, walking down the side walk briskly. She had a small suitcase on wheels trailing behind her. Her hair was sort of styled and highlighted, so that made me think she was not homeless. She was a bit disheveled. As she got closer I saw she had on jeans that were so baggy they were falling off, her rear end was showing a bit. She was about forty, and by the looks of her I just don't think that was intentional.

I watched her walk past the street mall, turn around and back again. Was she confused, lost, upset, homeless, running away, domestic dispute. She would stop, look around a bit and then head determinedly the other direction.

Or was she having some sort of bipolar episode and backed up and hit the high road, leaving her family behind.

The town was still. She was out of place. I wanted to help. I did not.
She still resonates with me.

Tap, Tap, Tap

Turmoil
slow-motion
Fast forward
Fury, over-reacting recluse
Tap, tap, tap always on
The soft tissues of my brain
Hindering my neurons and synapses
Horrifying sounds come
From simple spoken words
Alone again to feel so weak
Only in the eyes
Of my babies
Do I ever feel
Love or complete
L.G. Larsen

Electrifying! ECT, Brain implants and stimulators.

The talk about brain implants for various diseases is becoming more widespread. They are having success with these implants that send little electronic surges to the right area of the brain. I believe Parkinson Disease is the main area they are using it on right now. Next in line is chronic depression, which means Bipolar Disorder could be up their alley too.

Electronic therapy certainly is not new. ECT has been around for decades. I actually thought it was an outdated form of therapy. I have learned that ECT is still very common in mental hospitals. Now that is trippy! For some strange reason being strapped down and shocked seems much worse than having a small device implanted in your brain. I am not sure if that is logical.

In the US, some hospitals are trying an electronic stimulator and patients who are suffering from depression, and both med and treatment resistant. The patient comes in for an office visit to do the therapy. The patient has the electronic device placed on their head for thirty to sixty minutes.

In other countries you can stimulate your synapse's right at home. (What else is new?)
There is a product that is a small hand held unit with two clips, one for each ear lobe. You clip them on and it sends small electronic surges through the brain. This is worn for about fifteen to thirty minutes. They actually market it to control anxiety and a relaxation aid without drugs.

This electric stuff is all very stimulating. (I will even admit to owning my own stimulator.)
But, for now, I am doing better than ever and I am on a nice blended cocktail of psychotropics. Personally, nothing could make me want to rock my boat again.